Dear Your Aunt Fanny #5
Quote of the Month
“Why not a gap year in the North-East doing something constructive, including perhaps breaking down prejudices?”
- taken from the shittest Guardian opinion article of 2025 so far, a bold claim as there are some heavy contenders, read the full thing here if you want a belly laugh and to be enraged to your core https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025/jan/06/look-to-the-past-to-revive-the-north-east
Happy New Year From Your Favourite Fannies
It’s 2025 and we hope no one has made any stupid resolutions or forced themselves to the gym. January is miserable enough, and this one particularly, because of the general global shit show that is unfolding before our eyes, without also having to hold yourself accountable to eat more protein or learn what the fuck a Bulgarian split squat is.
So take it easy, watch The Traitors, and don’t go out unless you absolutely have to. Fanny law.
Oh and book some tickets to our upcoming shows and read our lovely Jackie’s January edition of Dear Your Aunt Fanny.
Red Raw
https://www.thestand.co.uk/performance/18374/red-raw/20250129/newcastle
We are headlining this Wednesday’s Red Raw, The Stand’s famous weeknight comedy show. We’re going to be sharing some of our best bits with a new audience and we have had such a lush time trawling back through all of our old sketches. We made a huge spreadsheet of all the ones we have ever written and there are over 100! Keep your eyes peeled for what we plan to do with them in 2025.
Time of the Month
This year we are bringing back our much beloved Time of The Month gigs, kicking off with the first one on February 18th. Tickets will be on sale very soon, so keep an eye on our social media and get the date in your diaries.
As always, Time of The Month will include two slots from some great local stand ups, plus half an hour of new material from yours truly.
The Worst Things About January, and My Favourite Things About Them
by Jackie Edwards
January is often voted as the shittest month. Fair enough. Post Christmas deflation. Back to work but not a shred of willpower. And summer is still *checks calendar* fuck me, SIX months away?!
Obviously people hate January's, that's a given. So nearing the end of this cold, dark, hangover of a month, I thought I'd reflect on some of the things I used to dread about January, but this year I actually found myself enjoying.
Maybe it's growing wisdom as I near 30? Maybe it's getting more dull? Who knows, but I'm happy to share what joys took me by surprise this month.
No Plans
A break from bars and restaurants isn't the worst thing in the world, especially if you're anything like me and my partner, and you bought enough Christmas food and drink to cater for your whole street. And ob-vi-ously you didn't finish it all. But like a bear who's stocked up for hibernation, you now just get to savour what's left at your leisure. And you're not hosting, so don't try and be impressive. That's what December was for. Enjoy your eclectic smorgasbord of random food you truly only see in January, and enjoy it shame free: left over stuffing with fried eggs, chill jam and cheese on crackers, with some duck spring rolls on the side (which of course you didn't put in the oven on Christmas day, as if you were ever going to do that.) Finding your self still in January blues half way through the month? I prescribe you go and run yourself a bath and take in the last of the baileys, and a generous Disaronno and apple juice for good measure, and not get out the tub for an hour and a half cause, sing it with me now, you've got no where to beeeeee.
Freezing
Genuinely this is a tough one, but I guess it makes me remember one of the things I don't like about summer, which is always having cold food.
"What do you fancy to eat? Salad, or quiche?" Neither actually, I want a proper meal, like mince and dumplings, or a fucking curry, but it's 27 degrees outside and I cannot get a hot carb for love nor money. At least when it's cold you have an excuse for every meal to be warming. And I mean it, every meal. Warm up your milk in the microwave before you put it on your cereal. Have beans on toast or chunky soup for lunch every day (and I don't mean home made, I mean those lovely, salt-packed cans of chunky soup you'd find in a bunker.) And at least five nights of the week, for the love of all that is good, eat a tea you can have gravy with.
I've just realised both these are food related. But when I think about it, of course they are. The best things about January are things that nourish you, cause that's what sustains you when it gets dark at 4pm and you think your nose is going to fall of if it gets any more cold. Enjoy the nourishment. Spoil yourself with nourishment.
My last favourite thing (about the worst things) about January was very unexpected, and it's a little personal to me, but I hope you enjoy how sweet it was.
Deadlines
I started a Postgrad in September, and I've been doing Uni assignments solidly since New Years (got them in yesterday!). Earlier in the week, when I was really in the thick of it, my dad dropped off some milk cause I didn't even have time to pop to the shops. Now, for context my dad's nearly 70, from County Durham, and in his own words "doesn't really do all that soppy stuff". And when I was younger, he could be quite strict. Before I went off to London to do my Undergrad, back in 2013 (God, 10 years ago), he gave me a lecture about how I needed to pay rent and "really take paying rent seriously", as if that was a fact that I didn't already know, despite having applied for my accommodation and saved the payment schedule in my calendar. Well since then, we've both grown. But my Undergrad was when I started to experience quite high functioning anxiety and burnout. And as the years have gone by, my parents have watched and tried to support me managing it. So it really was a nice moment when, after he'd handed me the milk he'd picked up, and was just about to leave, my dad said "Jacqueline, you know these deadlines, it really doesn't matter if you miss them you know, it's really not a bother... A lot of the time with deadlines, they're softer than you first think... Right okay enough soppy stuff, I'll let you get on"
Aw dad, (I mean, these ones actually aren't soft, I will get marked down if they're late), but I really appreciated him saying that.
Sometimes when you're buried under a lot of stuff (or under a month that's long and cold) it helps to remember there's people who just want you to take care, and not be so hard on yourself.
Seven Recommendations
It's agreed among the Fannies I'm kind of the Dad of the group - I drive us places a lot, I always carry cash, with which a few times I've bought us all an ice cream - and I'm always the last to hear about a thing. So in this spirit, my recommendations are things you probably already know about, but I've only recently discovered; consider this a nudge to give them another shot or get in to them again.
The End of the F**** World
This was actually what sparked this idea for the recommendations; I was telling the Fannies I'd binged it recently, and "have yous seen it?! It's dead good!" The Fannies all looked a bit confused. "Jackie you know everyone watched that back in like 2017?"
Genuinely shocked. Well, it's still class. Such well written characters, beautiful balance of comedy and heart. If you like black comedy and coming of age, it's top notch (and on Netflix).Bob Dylan
Surprisingly this has nothing to do with the new film (I didn't actually know about it, someone told me about it when I said I'd started listening to him.) Obviously I'd heard of him, but if any one had asked me to name a Dylan song I'd have just said "that one about the wind?" Well when I was listening to the sound track of End of the F*** World I came across his song Wigwam from his Self Portrait album. And he's pretty much all I've listened to this month. 'A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall' makes me feel all the feelings.Desperate Housewives
Fuck me. Where has this show been all my life? I always though it was about bitchy women who were mean to each other - maybe I was getting it mixed up with Real Housewives - but actually the 4 women it follows are all great friends, who play poker every week, and are completely solid for one another. It's their lives outside of each other that are dramatic. And the show is bat-shit. Bree's my favourite character. She's shocked when her new boyfriend tried to go down on her; he says he's "happy to, I'm a libertarian", she says "well I'm republican, and we don't do that".Port
Another thing we decided to get in for Christmas, cause why the fuck not. Never really knew what it was, thought it was a liquor for a long time. It's just really thick red wine; imagine if red wine was a pudding. Lovely and sweet, a way to class up your in-the-house drinking.Notes on a Scandal
So back in the 00's this was such a hit, and nominated for loads of awards. Of course it was, Judi Dench and Cate Blanchett, in a female-led psychological thriller. Well I finally watched it recently. It's amazing. You will live for Dench's internal monologue playing over her chain smoking in the bath. Peak drama.
Building a CD collection
For Christmas I asked for some of my favourite albums on CD. I know you've got everything I could ever want on Spotify. But I'm increasingly wanting to avoid screens, and it's hard to get services without ads. I definitely sound like an old woman here. But you know what, if I was collecting vinyl you'd think I was cool. And let me tell you, having a file through your catalogue and picking out which album you want to listen to in the kitchen while you cook, and putting the CD in the stereo is just as much a ritual as if it was a vinyl (and it's less expensive).Greggs Hot Sandwich lunch deal
Honestly we need to enjoy this while we've got it, cause they're soon going to realise they're being too generous with us and they'll take it away. Did you know at Greggs you can get a huge hot baguette, wedges and ANY hot drink for a fiver? A FIVER?! My regular go-to is the all bay breakfast baguette and a mocha. This deal is popular and sometimes they'll have temporarily ran out of wedges; The Bigg Market Greggs will make you wait if their wedges aren't ready and won't let you swap, but the Central Station Greggs are sound and will let you have mozzarella bites if you don't want to wait. Go forth.
